May 6, 2014

One Week with Two Dogs




Yesterday marked one week with the fostercake and things continue to go really well.  So well, in fact, that I am having a near-constant back-and-forth conversation with myself about what is right, what is reasonable, and what my heart wants for both of these dogs. My friends are teasing me endlessly about foster failing and the rescue coordinator referred to Lydia as my foster, in quotes, on a Facebook thread. I must admit that I hate failing at anything and even though I know it isn't really a failure for dog or human, there is a part of me that wants to buck up the fostering fortitude and get Lydia adopted out! I don't think anyone is wired to exist comfortably in limbo, and so every day my brain struggles to side one way or another, even though I know it's too early to decide. 




It's no secret that I've pondered the possibility of two dogs as far back as January, although I have also been enjoying life with an only dog. I know all too well that two dogs complicate everything, that expenses increase, and that it adds that much more unpredictability to life. I carry pet insurance for Ruby and it does ease my mind somewhat in the area of unexpected vet costs. My most important consideration is the dynamic between Ruby and Lydia, since Freya and Lasya were not well-matched in that regard and it resulted in several injuries and much tension in the nine years they were together. More than once I said I would not have two female dogs again, although I've since realized that canine relationships have more to do with individual than gender. 




As evidenced by these pictures, Ruby and Lydia get along very nicely. They share toys, sleep next to each other, and seem to take comfort in each others company. I think Lydia would be far more uncertain if not for having Ruby's lead to follow in adapting to our household routine. Ruby will never not be reactive, and in some ways she is more excitable with another dog around, but she is also happier - it's impossible to deny. At first I thought that she was too much of a pest, that Lydia would prefer a home without the relentless antics of a hyperactive Border Jack, but as the days go by, they are creating their own rules. Lydia will play tug with Ruby, then eventually settle down to chew on the toy. If Ruby continues to bother her, Lydia will give a little growl. I've been very impressed by how gentle Lydia is - she has mouthed my hand a few times when she is playing and she is very soft. This may have to do with a sad part of her history, which I'll get to in a moment. I'm well aware that Ruby is a lot for most dogs to take, and it's no small thing that Lydia is so patient with her.


 


I've learned a lot more about Lydia's background from the rescue coordinator and the director at the Humane Society of Grand Bahama.  She was trapped as a stray in April 2013, emaciated and nursing seven puppies, which were found days later and did not survive. Since then she has been living at the shelter, spending most of her time outside with as many as one hundred other dogs. It is my understanding that there is almost zero chance of adoption for these dogs on the islands. Lydia has probably never been in a home or had a person to call her own. She is definitely shy, although she bonded with and trusted me right away. I have cleaned her ears, bathed her, looked at her teeth, handled her paws. My dad has been staying with me for the week and she is very wary of him but slowly warming up. She is lovely to walk on a leash and has truly been no trouble. She is interested but respectful of my elder-kitty, Nina. She is happy in her crate, often choosing to retire there on her own. Every day she relaxes a little more, her tail swings side to side increasingly, and I've seen that open-mouthed smile that so endeared me to her picture from the Bahamas. This morning she gave me kisses on my chin.



 


I am not overly fond of the name Lydia, and have been using it sparingly, though she doesn't particularly respond to it.  I've been calling her "sugar" quite a bit, and do have some name choices narrowed down, although I'm hesitant to commit to one. I named both of my previous fosters, Bjorn and Vlad, and had no trouble letting them go to wonderful new homes, but this is different somehow. There was a possibility from the beginning, and it's no coincidence that Ruby and Lydia have coordinated coat colors. I've taken to calling them Gingerdogs.  For now I am trying hard to remain in the gray, to let time tell, and make the right decision for all of us.


 


I have one more announcement: Ruby was selected as the Alcott Share Your Adventure winner for the month of April! We won $100 to spend in their store and I decided on one of their bolster beds (along with a bookmark and a ball). I expect the bed will hold up much better than the $20 beds I buy at TJ Maxx. 

21 comments:

  1. I think they are the cutest pair of Gingerdogs! If you foster fail it will be OK and if she gets adopted out it will be OK too. The important thing is that she has that chance now that she's here with you.

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  2. The real question: are you fostering Lydia because you believe in the cause, or as a way to "audition" a dog playmate for Ruby? If the former, love her and let her go, so that you can save more dogs. If you just wanted a playmate for Ruby, so far so good.

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    1. A little of both, I guess. I knew going in that keeping her wasn't out of the question as it was with prior fosters. Keeping her would mean that my foster spot would be taken, though. I don't know how cut out I am for serial fostering, although I DO believe in the cause, the initial introductions and first few days are stressful, even when things go smoothly.

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    2. Transport is my favorite form of rescue volunteer work, something I've done quite a bit of, but with a broken AC and a car with mileage creeping ever-upward I haven't been actively seeking out those opportunities.

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  3. I think you are going about this the right way. Give Lydia time to adjust to life in a home and see how more of her personality emerges. It took Blueberry almost a full year to show her true colors to me. Not that she isn't still great - she definitely is. But some of the things she allowed me to do in the beginning without any problems such as nail trims and ear cleaning - now she fusses a bit and I always need to keep treats handy.

    It sounds like your gingerdogs are two peas in a pod - but time will tell! I'm so glad to hear how well they get along. I had a male and female (both fixed) that didn't always get along and there were some trips to the vet because of it - so I get your hesitancy in that regard - although it does appear as though Ruby and Lydia are enjoying their new found friendship and living arrangements!

    I also wanted to add that every foster I've taken in - I've had almost every person I know (and some I didn't) that told me I should keep the foster. A lot of people just don't get what it means to be a foster. While there is absolutely no shame in foster "failing" - I know you'll make the right decision for all of you and not cave to other people's ideas about what you should do.

    Congratulations on your win!

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    1. You are so right about that, and it's actually something I meant to add to my post. Ruby's reactivity did not really surface for about six weeks, and she was more cooperative with nail trims and such at first, too.

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    2. I told Blueberry she tricked me - because I thought to myself, "Finally, a dog that lets me trim her nails!". Ha - the joke was on me! ;)

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    3. Ruby is still pretty good about it, but we utilize the peanut butter Treat Toob. I haven't tried Lydia's nails yet.

      I also had to pluck a tick out of Ruby's ear in the first few days, which I think pretty well ruined her for anything ear-related even though she was cooperative at the time.

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  4. Oh ... I hope you adopt her, but obviously you have to do what is best for you and the animals involved. Glad to see you are taking your time to really think about it. It's so nice to see Lydia is fitting into your home so easily considering what her background is like.

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  5. Hmm, picking names is a sign I think. They are a very cute pair and I know the decision is tough. We've fostered several times and I was okay giving them up - but I already had two dogs. If I had only one, I thin it would have been harder. Even if you adopt her, it doesn't mean your fostering days are over or that your a failure...just go for 3.

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    1. Three dogs are tough for one person to manage, so I don't know that I would take on another foster if I kept Lydia, but I had the same experience when I did foster with two dogs (once on my own and once with my ex-husband) - there was not a temptation to keep them. I named both previous fosters, one was a changed name and one was a stray so he needed a name in any event!

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  6. I would like very much to foster again one day, but my hubs and I failed with the first set of kittens. Being more of a dog person, I think I'd just suck at fostering dogs. They all have admirable qualities, given enough time to showcase them. It's hard enough to photograph them for five minutes without wanting to take those that fit into my sucker set home (black, goofy, pibbles and pibble mixes, intelligent eyes).

    From the angle of the photo, elder cat looks bigger than the puppies.

    And I'm so glad that someone else is a sucker for the $20 TJ Maxx beds. I really thought the last one was going to last a while.. until it didn't. I'd love to make one of those nesting beds, so Savannah could getting her pawing urges met without raining destruction upon soft fabrics.

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    1. That Nina photobomb is especially hilarious for that reason - she is a wee thing at just 5 pounds! It's a good representation of character, though.

      My Imperfect Dog who also commented up above recently bought and reviewed one of the Molly Mutt duvets that you stuff with old clothing or blankets. The stuffingless nesting beds are a neat idea.

      Transport is my rescue forte' - getting dogs where they need to go, not enough time to fall in love, usually. I did want to puppynap an elkhound puppy that I drove four hours with.

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  7. We definitely love those gingerdogs! It's great that they're getting along so well. Also congrats on the contest!!

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  8. Lara, congrats to you on your continued success with...everything! Lydia is gorgeous, but I totally understand your dilemma. I fostered a wonderful dog named Sophie once. I had her for 4 months before a family became interested. I was absolutely heartbroken when it was time to let her go, but I gave her up. When I told my dad, HE CRIED! Guess what happened? I took Sophie back and now she's been my dad's spoiled princess for almost 3 years.
    I can't imagine having two dogs either - although Wynston does really well with others, he and I have a bond that I don't want to ruin. And let's face it, everything's easier with one dog. However, I see your happy Facebook posts, I see these beautiful photos. It's a tough decision, but it seems as though Lydia would make an amazing addition to your family. Whatever your decision, I know it will be the right one for you! <3

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    1. Thank you, Amanda! I love having an only dog, but Ruby benefits so much from the company of her own kind, and her reactivity limits those opportunities. As much as I'd like to be her everything, I can't deny the difference in her when she is in canine company. I would need to also be sure that Lydia is happiest in the situation - she might prefer to have someone all to herself without the constant pestering of a pesky sister!

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  9. She's sweet. Bless you for fostering her.

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  10. such a cute cute pair. we have been thinking about getting a second dog but not sure about the financial costs since i don't work anymore. i don't want that to be a barrier but still having two vet costs, insurance and boarding/grooming seem a little overwhelming. we've been considering fostering as well and i regret that we haven't done it already.. my husband teases me and says that i will probably end up wanting to keep the dog instead of making sure it gets adopted out so we can continue to take in fosters. i haven't really sat down and thought about this really hard.. but hopefully i will get a chance to wrap my head around it. i've been enjoying reading about your journey. thanks for sharing!

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    1. The cost of two dogs is no small consideration, and one I'm weighing myself. One good way to ensure you won't keep the foster is to select a breed or type that you're not particularly drawn to - this was my original intent with fostering an American Eskimo as I did not really want a white, fluffy dog. Then along came the potcake, I picked her out myself from about ten other dogs.

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  11. I just love how they're color coordinated! She is very cute, and they look like best buds. That's fantastic! Whether you choose to keep her (NOT fail) or not, I think you'll know what's right when the time comes to get out of the limbo spot. In the meantime, enjoy it - they look like they're having FUN!

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  12. Thanks so much for sharing the story of Ruby and Lydia - sounds like they're doing well together so far. Hope that continues. If you decide to adopt Lydia, it sounds as if she will have a wonderful home. And if she moves on to another forever home, I'm sure she will have benefitted greatly from the love and compassion you have shown her. Thank you for opening your heart and your home to a dog who clearly needed a chance.

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